


Moving Forward

by 1love4ever



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: AU, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-04
Updated: 2016-04-04
Packaged: 2018-05-31 08:06:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6462460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1love4ever/pseuds/1love4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm terrible at summaries so please just give it a chance. Thanks!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moving Forward

"Gosh Clarke," Octavia pushes a glass in front of Clarke. "You could at least pretend to be having fun."

"I am." Clarke doesn't even glance at the drink.

"Not."

Clarke sighs. There is no lying to Octavia. They've been best friends since they were six. If there is anyone in the world who knows Clarke Griffin, it's Octavia Blake. It' Octavia Blake. Octavia had been trying for months to find away to help Clarke fight her depression and insert herself back it society.

There use to be a time when Clarke would have been fully enjoying a night out with her friends. But that was two years ago before her life started falling apart. Now Clarke life is all about her five year old son Zane and work. The only reason Clarke is at this bar again for the second Friday in a roll is because she really wants to make an effort to be better for her son. To be better for her friends and family. For herself.

"Look..." Octavia's voice pull her out of her thoughts. "Just take a few minutes and then come back over to the table. Please try to stay a little longer.

Clarke nods. Octavia gives her a kiss on the cheek before leaving Clarke at the bar to go back to their group of friends.

"Hey." Clarke feels the heat of the body that just walked up next to her but she doesn't turn to find out who exactly it is. 

"No thanks." The quick dismissal is all she says to acknowledge that there is someone trying to get her attention. 

"What?" 

Clarke sighs when she hears the bar stool next to her scrap against the floor. All she wants to do is wait out the next ten minutes in peace, tell her friends she has to leave and go home and enjoy the rest of her night in. But now she has to deal with someone hitting on her. 

"Look..." Clarke finally turns in her seat. It's the girl. The girl from last week. The girl that eyes hunted Clarke all week. "I..." She shakes her head, pretty green eyes is not going to stop her plan of getting the hell out of here. "I'm okay. Thanks but no you can't buy me a drink."

The mystery girl laughs. All bright eyes and teeth. "Sorry lady, but I had no intentions of buying you a drink."

"Really?" 

In response she gets a shrug and, "Not really my thing. You know...buying a pretty girl a drink on the chance that something might happen. Waste of my money if you ask me." 

"Charming."

Another smile. "Lexa actually." Clarke ignores that hand extended to her and turns back to face the bar. "Ooookay."

"Sorry. I just..." Clarke shakes her head. She can admit to finding Lexa attractive and funny but she's not ready to put herself out there. Even if it's just for the night. "You're wasting your time."

"Do you always jump to conclusions so fast?" Lexa leans closer. "I'm not trying to take you home. Yeah, I saw you across the room and thought you were cute," pause. "I think you are cute but I could also see from across the room that you look like you want to be anywhere but here." Clarke keeps quiet. She's kind of unnerved that Lexa is reading her so easily. "Look...I know you've been telling me to fuck off since the moment I walked up and i got it but at least tell me your name."

Clarke keeps her smile at bay, Lexa is pretty persistent. Clarke slides off the stool, grabbing her purse and phone. "Maybe another time." She makes her get away before Lexa flashes the beautiful eyes at her again. 

It doesn't take much to convince her friends to let her go home. But they do give her sad eyes and make her promise to try again next week. 

\----

Clarke doesn't see Lexa the next two Friday's that she goes to the bar. The fact that she notices bothers her. She doesn't want to notice, she doesn't want to feel disappointed, she just doesn't want anything to do with Lexa. Or with anyone for that matter. But she can't help but to notice Lexa.

Clarke is sitting at the bar the next time she sees Lexa. Some girl has purchased two drinks and is currently trying to talk her into accepting the second one. 

"You're wasting your time." Clarke hears the familiar amused voice behind her. "This chick doesn't dig the whole 'let me buy you a drink' thing. She actually can get quite rude about it."

The other girl eyes Lexa and then looks back to Clarke. She offers the drink once more and when she's turned down again she snatches the drink up and walk away with a huff. 

"Well...I'm glad to see it isn't just me you ignore. First I thought I wasn't your type. Turns out you just don't like people." Lexa jokes. 

"Shut up." 

Clarke silently observes Lexa as she calls over the bartender. Tonight Lexa is wearing some nice fitted jeans with a t-shirt and a leather jacket. Her hair is tied back. She looks like she's just out to relax, not really worried about impressing anyone. It doesn't matter though..the relaxed look or the tight dresses, either way Clarke thinks Lexa is unbelievably attractive. 

"So Clarke?" Clarke head shoots up when her name slips from Lexa's lips. 

"How do you know that?"

Lexa grins. "I made a little stop over there," Clarke doesn't need to look at where Lexa is pointing. She knows her friends are occupying their usual table. "Unlike you, they didn't think the world was going to end if they introduced themselves properly. Also had no problem sharing your name as well Clarke Griffin."

"You're annoying."

"Awww," Lexa pouts. "What happened to charming?"

Clarke ignores her and takes a sip of the glass of vodka that's been sitting in front of her. 

"Do you wanna dance?"

Clarke glance over to the dance floor. There are a few couples swaying to the music. But dancing sober has never been her thing. Dance with Lexa is definitely not going to be a thing either.

"No thanks. I need to get back to my friends." Clarke did tell herself that she would stay longer tonight. She doesn't want to close down the bar, but at least stay later then 11pm and try to be a good friend. A present friend. 

"Sure." For the first time Clarke sees Lexa's confident exterior slip. 

The rest of the night goes by smoothly. Octavia, Raven and Bellamy take turns buying the table drinks. They don't allow Clarke to buy because they are just happy that she's joining in on the fun. The last few times she was here, Clarke barely finished a drink. They are just all happy to see her having a good time. 

"So who's the chick?" Raven inquires as they stand in the ridiculously long line for the restroom. 

"Who?"

Raven rolls her eyes. "Don't play dumb. That Lexa chick. I saw you guys talking earlier. Plus you can't keep your eyes off of her."

Clarke has been sneaking glances at the brunette. Lexa had moved from the bar back to her usual table. Their eyes would lock every now and then. Clarke usually looked away first. She could feel Lexa eyes on her though. 

"She's no one." Clarke waves it off. "And thanks for giving her my name. My full name at that."

"Woah. Chill." Raven wraps her arm around Clarke's waist. "The chick is hot and honestly we thought it would be good if you got laid." 

"I'm not sleeping with her."

"I don't see why not. I mean did you see her jawline..."

"This conversation is over." 

Clarke moves onto water when they get back to the table. Jasper, another good friend, is coming to pick them up in a few but either way Clarke would like to be sober as possible when she gets home. She spends the next thirty minutes eyeing Lexa and thinking about how much she wish she could forget about the other girl.

"I'll be right out." Clarke tells her group when they get up to leave the bar. 

Deciding to say fuck it, Clarke makes her way over to Lexa's table. 

Lexa excuses herself when she sees Clarke approaching. Clarke smiles at the tables other occupants and follows Lexa over to the corner for a little privacy. 

"Came to give me your number?" Lexa smirks. 

"You wish." Clarke lets a smile break through.

"I do." Lexa steps closer. 

They spend a minute staring at each other before Clarke remembers that her friends are waiting on her. 

"I have to go." Clarke pushes her purse further onto her shoulder before making eye contact again. "I just...what's your last name? I mean you know mines. It's only fair."

Lexa grins. "Grounder. Lexa Grounder." 

Clarke nods. "Cool." She moves to leave, Lexa reaches out and grabs her hand as she walks by.

"You're really not going to give me your number?" 

Clarke smiles. "Maybe another time."

\-----

After that night things change. The next few weeks at the bar are filled with Lexa flirting and Clarke not turning away from it. Clarke even allows herself to flirt back every now and then. Lexa manages to find herself a place at Clarke's table of friends every Friday for at least an hour or so. Even though they are on friendly terms, Clarke still has her guard up. She still doesn't know much about Lexa beyond the flirty, sometime obnoxious, beautiful woman she presents herself to be while they are at the bar.

Tonight Clarke's been having a good time. Lexa and one of her friends has joined them and everyone has been taking turns buying drinks. Clarke's phone starts to ring as Lexa and Bellamy head to the bar to collect the next round of shots. It's Clarke's mom on the other end asking for her to come home early. She has a work emergency she needs to take care of. Clarke lets her mom, Abby, know that she'll be home as soon as possible.

"Hey, I have to go. Do you..." Clarke looks to Raven after she hangs up the phone.

"Of course." Raven stands as she is the designated driver tonight. 

"Woah. What's happening here?" Lexa frowns when she comes back to the table with the shots. 

"Clarke has to call it a night, but just because she leaves doesn't mean you have to." Octavia eyes the drinks in Lexa's hand. Lexa sets the glasses on the table and follows Clarke and Raven outside. 

"Hey...everything okay?" 

"Yeah, I just need to get home." Clarke can see the disappointment on Lexa's face but Zane,her son, comes first. Zane always comes first. "I'll see you next week." Clarke allows Lexa to walk her to Raven's car.

"I won't be here next week. I'll be working third shift for a few weeks."

"I'm sorry, Lexa. I really have to go." Clarke gets in the car. At the last minute she rolls down her window and yells. "Get my number from, O!"

It's almost one in the morning when Clarke gets the first text message.

Hey I know it's late but I just wanted to make sure you're okay

Then another two.

So are you okay?

It's Lexa btw

Clarke smiles down at the simple text. She saves the number before responding. 

I'm fine. That's for checking. 

Clarke almost jumps out of her skin when her phone rings just seconds after sending the text.

"Hello?" 

"Have coffee with me tomorrow?"

"Woah...I thought you didn't buy chicks drinks?"

"I don't." Lexa agrees. "But you're not just some random chick. You're Clarke Griffin, a cute blonde that I wanna get to know better."

Clarke doesn't know if she wants to squeal at the cuteness that is Lexa Grounder or puke at the thought of going out with Lexa Grounder. 

"What time were you thinking?"

They agree to meet at a little coffee house on Main. 

Clarke shows up to the coffee house fifteen minutes before they're suppose to meet. She stays put in her car and calls Octavia and Raven on three way while she waits.

"Maybe I should cancel."

"What dude, no." Octavia speaks up first. "Last minute cancellations are for douchebags. You're not douche, Clarke."

"Plus Lexa is hot." Raven joins in. "Why would you pass up an opportunity to tap that?"

"I'm not sleeping with her." 

"Yet." Both of her friends disagree with her. 

Clarke opens her mouth to argue but then she spots Lexa walking up and into the coffee shop.

"I have to go. Call you later. Bye." Clarke hangs up the phone before either girl can say goodbye. 

She makes her way into the coffee shop. Lexa is standing not to far from the door when she gets in.

"Hey," Lexa walks over and pulls her into a hug. "I thought we could grab some coffee and then go for a walk."They order coffee, which Lexa pays for, and then make their way back outside. 

Clarke easily finds herself enjoying Lexa's company as they walk around the block two times before making their way back to Clarke's car. 

Clarke leans against her car as she takes a minute to look at Lexa. It's been two years since Clarke had hand any kind of relationship. For two years it's only been Clarke and Zane. The thought that this beautiful brunette might be someone worth letting into their life scares Clarke. Lexa seems like a great woman but so did Clarke's ex. And she was terribly wrong about him.

"Hey, what up with that frown? I thought we were having a pretty good time." Lexa steps closer, hands landing on the car, blocking both sides of Clarke's body. 

"I have a five year old." She blurts. 

Lexa doesn't even flinch. "Ooookay?"

Clarke rolls her eyes. "I have a five year old and stuff...like a lot of shit that I..."

"Hey...calm down." Lexa runs a hand along Clarke left arm.

"Lexa...I can't just sleep with you and just do like whatever. I have a kid to think about and..."

Clarke is cut off by soft lips on hers. At first she's too shocked to react. They just stand there lips and bodies pressed together against the car on a semi busy street. 

When Clarke feels Lexa pulling away she tightens her hold on Lexa hoodie. Lexa takes the hint and traps Clarke's bottom lip between hers. They kiss until they have to come up for air.

"I like kids." Lexa pulls away with a grin. 

Clarke shakes her head. She needs time to think. 

"I have to go."

\-----

"Hey O, what are you doing up here?" Clarke inquires when she sees Octavia standing at the nurses station. 

Octavia shrugs. "Had to run some labs to the fifth floor. Thought I'd stop by and say hi and also let you know that Grounder is downstairs."

Clarke frowns. She hasn't talked to Lexa in three days. She's actually been avoiding the other woman. "What? Why? Did you tell her where I work?"

Octavia rolls her eyes. "Dude she's not here to see you. She's getting looked at in the E.R." She says so casually. As if the E.R is a place people come to just relax at. 

Clarke blinks a few times before turning to Maya, another nurse on duty, and telling her she's taking a fifteen minute break. Clarke doesn't even wait to hear if Maya is okay with covering her right now before she is making her way to the stairs. 

Octavia eyes the elevator before sighing and following Clarke to the stairwell. 

Octavia tells Clarke which unit Lexa is in before getting back to her own work. 

Clarke stands outside the unit until the Doctor leaves the room. She opens up the door to see Lexa sitting up in the bed with her left leg exposed, joking with the nurse. Clarke can make out fresh stitches going down Lexa's leg.

"Hey." Lexa eyes open in surprise but she makes no move to cover herself. 

"What's up, Clarke? I didn't know you were covering the pit tonight." The male nurse at the computer ask when she steps further into the room.

"I'm not. I..." 

"Hey Dave, you think you can give me a minute here with blondie?"

Dave eyes them for a second before agreeing. "Just make sure you go over the information in her discharge papers." 

Clarke makes sure Dave is all the way out the room, door closed, before turning her attention back on the green eyed girl. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Clarke." Lexa gives her a small smile. "Little cut. Nothing to worry about." 

Clarke frowns. "How did you..." She motions towards the stitched up leg. 

"Purp didn't wanna come easily." 

It's then that Clarke notices Lexa top. The disheveled uniform. "You're a cop?"

"That's what it looks like."

It's funny because after all this weeks of knowing each other, they've never talked about their jobs. 

"Don't be a smart ass."

"Why are you here, Clarke?"

Clarke moves more into the room, eyes focused on the injury. "Octavia told me you were down here." She looks back up at Lexa. "I know I've been a jerk the last couple of days but...I kind of care."

"Kind of?"

Clarke rolls her eyes. "I care." Clarke almost trips when Lexa reaches out, pulling her to sit next to her on the bed. Lexa winces when Clarke accidentally make contact with the side of her leg. "Are you okay?"

"Just fine," Lexa sighs. "Read my discharge stuff so I can get out of here, please."

Clarke goes through all the information in the discharge papers before getting up off the hospital bed. 

"My break is up. Someone should be in soon to get you."

Lexa nods. "I'm going to call you later today. Please pick up."

Clarke knows what Lexa is really saying is if you don't pick up, I might not call back.

"Anytime after 4pm is okay, Alexandria Grounder." Clarke smirks. 

Clarke smiles to herself she hears Lexa cursing the discharge papers with her name on them.

\----

"So you're a cop?"

It's a week later and Clarke agrees to meet Lexa for lunch. They have had little communication. Clarke has been busy with work and her son and Lexa has been focusing on healing her leg.

Lexa rolls her eyes. "We already established that. How long have you been a nurse?"

"A while." Clarke shrugs. 

"Come on, Clarke." Lexa sits back in her chair. "I'm buying you food and shit even after you ignored me for days. The least you could do is tell me a little bit about yourself."

Clarke looks down at her half eaten plate like it holds the answers. She's trying to think about if she wants to make this leap with Lexa. Most people would think something like telling someone your name or where you work isn't a big deal. But it is to Clarke. Because she knows Lexa is going to want to know more. Clarke likes Lexa but she's not sure if she's ready to let her in. But the thing is...Lexa has already creeped her way into Clarke's life.

"Five years." Clarke answers quietly. "I was going to school to be a doctor but I got pregnant and," Clarke waves her hand around, gesturing at nothing. "here I am."

Lexa nods. "Well I'm sure you're good at your job."

They spend the next few minutes swapping work related stories and just getting to know the basics about each other. Like how Lexa's parents moved to Tennessee five years ago, and how Clarke dad is dead and her moms a doctor. 

Clarke has just finished a story about her and her friends in high school when Lexa moves the questions to a more personal level. 

"So Zane," Lexa starts. Clarke can tell she's a little hesitant. "What's up with his dad? He still in the picture or what?"

Clarke goes quiet at that. Zane's father isn't something she wants to talks about. 

"No."

"No?" Lexa frowns when that's the only response she gets. 

"That's all you need to know." Lexa look like she wants to argue but she holds back.

Lexa nods. "Maybe another time then?"

"Sure." Clarke shrugs. "Another time." 

\----

"You guys fucking yet or what?" 

"Raven!" Clarke turns red.

It's another Friday night, another night at the bar with her friends. And Lexa. Lexa who is sitting right next to her while Raven ask personal, inappropriate questions. Clarke is glad the rest of the group had stepped outside for some fresh air, leaving just the three of them. 

"What? You guys have been all over each other tonight." 

Clarke rolls her eyes why Lexa just laughs. "We haven't had sex, Raven. I just got hand holding privileges." Clarke pinches Lexa's exposed thigh. "Ouch. I'm just being honest with your friend."

"It's none of her business." Clarke snaps. 

"Damn Lex, I don't think you getting any tonight either." Raven jokes. 

Clarke sighs and decides she's not even going to entertain Raven anymore.

"Are you ready to go?" Clarke ask after her other friends come back to the table.

"You guys leaving already?" A tipsy Lincoln ask. 

They've been at the bar for three hours. Clarke is more then ready to go. "Yeah, Lexa has to work in the morning and I'm tired."

The rest of the group accepts Clarke's reasoning and take turns hugging Clark and Lexa goodbye. 

The ride to Clarke's apartment is silent. Lexa quietly walks Clarke to her door. 

"You good?" Lexa ask grabbing her hand. 

"I'm fine. Tired. But fine." Clarke leans back against her door.

Lexa steps closer and then leans in for a kiss. They make out against the door for a few minutes before Clarke pushes Lexa back. 

"I'm not having sex with you."

"Tonight or ever?" Lexa smirks.

"Don't be an ass."

Clarke allows Lexa to pull her into a short kiss. "You know that's not all I'm after, right?" Clarke just blinks at her. "I'm here for you."

Clarke nods. "Okay."

The sincerity in Lexa's eyes and words have Clarke welling to let some of her walls down. 

\----

"You aren't allowed to pick the movie ever again. That shit sucked." Lexa comments as she pulls out her keys to open her door.

Clarke and Lexa have been 'dating' or whatever for a few months now. Tonight instead of going out with their friends, Clarke treated Lexa to dinner and a movie.

Clarke scuffs as she follows Lexa into the apartment. "How would you know? You spent 90% of the movie trying slip your hand up my shirt and your tongue down my throat." 

"Shut up." Lexa tosses her keys onto the table by the door. "You're making me sound like a horny teenager."

"Whatever." Clarke walks over and sits on the couch as Lexa goes to make them something to drink. 

Clarke watches Lexa walk back into the room. Lexa hands Clarke her drink and sits down next to her. "Walking Dead?"

Clarke nods and Lexa turns on Netflix. They started watching the Walking Dead a few weeks ago when Clarke mentioned that she never seen it. Lexa had just shook her head and invited her over the next day to binge watch the first season. Now Clarke is addicted.

"I like your smile." Clarke says when she sees Lexa's face light up during one of the rare lighter moments the show has. 

"What?" Lexa ask, eyes never leaving the tv. Clarke thinks it's funny how Lexa gets so involved with watching the tv that she sometimes forgets that Clarke is even there.

Clarke grabs Lexa chin, taking her focus away from the tv and putting it on herself. 

"I said," Clarke leans in. "I like your smile."

Lexa beams. "Well shit, did I just get a compliment from princess Clarke?" Lexa lips brushes Clarke's as she speaks. 

"Shut up." With that Clarke pulls Lexa into a kiss. 

Somehow Clarke ends up on her back with a topless Lexa on top of her. 

"I really want to have sex with you right now." Lexa says in between kisses. "If nows not a good time for you, please let me know right now." 

"See horny teenage boy." Clarke pulls away to tease Lexa. 

Lexa shrugs. "Am I bedding you or not?"

Clarke rolls her eyes. "You're so romantic."

"I'm taking that as a yes." Lexa gets up, leading Clarke into her bedroom. 

It's not into the morning when Clarke wakes up in strong arms, that she realizes how deep her feels for Lexa really runs. The fact that she stayed the night and she likes the feeling of waking up next to someone again is a big step for Clarke. Clarke is glad she is taking these steps with Lexa. 

\----

"Can I have these?" Clarke watches her son put the pack of candy into the cart before she can even answer.

"No. And stop picking up stuff." Clarke snatches the candy up and put it back on the shelf. "Pick up anything else and I'm putting you back up here." Clarke pats the kids seating area on the cart to show Zane she means business.

"But mama." Zane starts to protest.

"But nothing little man. You heard what I said." Zane pouts but starts to walk quietly down the aisles with touching everything. 

"There you guys are." Clarke looks away from her pouting child when Raven comes around the corner with a cart full. Mostly junk food. No wonder where her son gets his sweet tooth from. "That's all you're getting?" Raven motions to Clarke's cart with its few items.

"I told you we didn't need much. We just came to keep you company."

Raven shrugs and grabs Zane hand. "I'm done. Let's go check out."

They make it through the checkout line with Zane only managing to talk Raven into buying him one candy bar against his mothers wishes. 

"What do you guys have planned for the day?" Raven asks as they put groceries up. 

Clarke looks to the entry way to the kitchen, making sure Zane hasn't came in from the living room where she left him playing with his action figures. 

"I'm taking Zane to the park." Clarke says quietly.

"Oookay? Why are you being weird about going to the park?" Raven catches on to the tone of Clarke's hesitant voice.

"Lexa is meeting us there."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

Things have been going good with Lexa and she's though it's about time she's met Zane. 

"I'm just...I've never seen her with a kid before." Clarke lets all her worries out. "I haven't introduced anyone new into Zane's life. I just don't want to rush anything."

"Oh please. You've guys been fucking or whatever for a few months now and she's just now meeting your kid. Lexa has to be the most patient person ever. I'm sure it'll be fine."

"See that's the thing." Clarke sighs. "I don't know what we are. I just know I like it. I like her. But what if this is just a passing thing for her? I don't want to bring Zane into that."

Raven rolls her eyes. "Do you really think Lexa would do that to you?"

Clarke shrugs. "You never know."

Things with Lexa have been great. Lexa has been nothing but sweet and patient since Clarke met her. Lexa knows when and when not to push Clarke, she listens, she's smart and beautiful. Lexa is a good catch but Clarke's still hesitant. Her past made her that way. 

"Look, you said Lexa's been asking to meet him. I don't think she would be concerned about meeting your son if she wasn't trying to stick around. She's seems like a good girl to me." Raven gives her advice. "I mean she got you to open up, right? I'm sure she's not going to disappoint you with this either."

Clarke nods. Raven is right. Clarke needs to stop overanalyzing everything and just give Lexa a shot. 

Hours later while sitting on a bench watching her kid and Lexa play, Clarke thinks how Raven was right. Lexa didn't disappoint. Within minutes of arriving at the park, Lexa had her son laughing. Lexa and Zane even comes up with a secret handshake before they leave the park.

\----  
"Why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend?"

"Excuse me?" Lexa puts down the glass of water she was about to take a sip from. 

Clarke had gladly let Lexa in when the brunette showed up at the apartment after her work shift. Lexa had went home and changed before coming over. She played video games with Zane after dinner and helped Clarke get him ready for bed. Now that Zane is asleep and it's just the two of them, Clarke is seeking answers. They never talk about what kind of relationship they have or want. It's been months since they started hanging out and a few weeks since Lexa met Zane, it's about time Clarke makes sure they are on the same page. 

"Don't play dumb. You heard what I said."

Lexa rolls her eyes. "Why do I have to ask you?"

"Because," Clarke snaps. "It was a simple question."

"Ha there is nothing simple about that question."

"How about this one? Are you seeing anyone else?"

Clarke frowns as Lexa chuckles. "Really? Between trying to make detective, you and Zane I don't have time to for anyone else." Lexa jokes. Clarke doesn't find it funny.

"You know what, forget it." Clarke gets up and hurries to her bedroom. She tries to shut the door on Lexa but the brunette blocks it with her foot and pushes her way into the room, shutting the door behind her. "You should go home."

"Are you seriously pulling this shit right now?" Clarke ignores Lexa and continues to get ready for bed. "Okay. Truth is...I wasn't planning on asking you."

Clarke heart breaks at those words. "I see." Clarke sits on the bed. She turns her face away from Lexa so she doesn't see the tears creeping up. 

"No. No, you don't see." Clarke jumps at the tone of Lexa voice. This is the most aggressive she's ever heard her. "As far as I'm concerned you've been my girl since the first time we had coffee together. That's how I see it." Clarke just sits quietly. "But I haven't mentioned anything to you because you are so fucking hesitant with everything. It's been three months and you still haven't even told me what happened with your ex or with Zane's dad. Hell I don't even know if they are the same person."

"Lexa." Clarke tries to cut in but the other girl keeps going. 

"I wasn't going to ask you. I was waiting on you to ask me. For you to make up your mind." Clarke wipes her eyes and gets up, walking over to Lexa. 

"Can we...I" Clarke tries to talk but her thoughts are all over the place. 

"Chill babe." Lexa allows Clarke to take her hand. "Look, I'm just going to go home."

"No Lexa." Clarke pulls on her hand. "I want to be," Clarke is cut of by Lexa pressing their lips together. 

"We just got into our first fight." Lexa pulls away. "Nows not the time."

Clarke nods. "Okay. Another time?"

"Another time."

\----

"Can we get ice cream?" Clarke watches as Zane tugs on Lexa's hand. 

They're leaving the zoo. Clarke and Lexa have been talking (awkwardly) but still that's something. The fight hasn't been mentioned at all. This is the first time this week though that their schedules has allowed them to spend time together. 

"Of course, kid." Lexa smiles down at Zane. 

As promised Lexa stops and get them all ice cream before driving Clarke and Zane back to Clarke's mom house. Lexa gets out of the car to see them off.

"Hey," Clarke reaches over and touches Lexa's arm. "Give me a minute to take him in." Clarke place her hand on the top of Zane's head, keeping the hyper active kid still.

"I can't. I have a meeting in a few hours. I need to run home and change and stuff." Clarke nods even thought she's disappointed. She doesn't know if she should believe that Lexa really is busy or if the woman is just trying to brush her off.

"Say thank you to Lexa for today." Clarke heart warms when Zane throws his little arms around Lexa.

"No problem buddy. Have a good day."

Clarke instructs Zane to start walking toward the house while she says goodbye to Lexa.

"Call me later?" She asks when her son has walked out of hearing range. 

"Yeah."

"Lexa." Clarke sighs. "I'm sorry about the other night."

"Clarke it's fine." Lexa pushes off of the car that she was leaning on. "I have to go."

They share a brief hug and kiss before Lexa drives away. 

Clarke tries to shake the feeling that she's losing Lexa. It's been days since they've talked. Clarke has tried calling and texting but all their conversations are awkward and short. It's driving Clarke crazy that she might have messed up one of the best things that ever happened to her. 

"Hey, O?" Clarke walks into the living room where Octavia is watching the Legos movie with Zane. 

"What is it Clarke?" Octavia is into the movie just as much as Zane. 

"I need to step out for a little. Can you keep an eye on him?"

Octavia rolls her eyes. "Bye Clarke."

Thirty minutes later Clarke finds herself standing outside of Lexa's apartment door.

Lexa looks surprised when she opens the door to Clarke.

"Clarke," Lexa opens the door wider to let her in. Clarke notes that Lexa is in her sleepwear, hair tied up in a messy bun. "You okay? Zane?"

"Finn Collins." Clarke ignores Lexa's questions. "Zane's dad, my ex. Same person."

"Clarke you don't..."

"We were together for two years before we got married." Clarke continues. "Five months into the marriage when I found out I was pregnant. Zane was one when I found out that Finn had been cheating on me for," Clarke pauses to take a deep breath. "He's a cheater. A liar. And he," Clarke gives into the tears when Lexa's arms wrap around her. 

"Stop." Lexa whispers into her ear. "It's okay."

"But it's not." Clarke tries to get herself together. If she doesn't do this now she doesn't know when she will. "I stayed with him because I was young and dumb and with a kid." Clarke moves out of Lexa's arms. They sit on the floor facing each other. "Then I found out that he was still cheating with multiple woman and...I had to get out of that. I was pregnant when I asked for the divorce." The tears start back but Clarke manages to keep control. "He didn't want more kids," Clarke gives a dark chuckle. "Funny right? He's fucking the whole city but he doesn't want another kid."

"At the time things weren't good with my mom, so I didn't want to go to her for help. She never liked Finn. She blamed him for me settling with just being a nurse. So when we separated I moved in with Raven."

"Babe, you can stop if you want. We don't have to talk about this right now." Lexa tries again. 

Clarke shakes her head and pulls something out of her pocket. She hands it to Lexa. "Thing's were bad, I was stressed all the time, I had a three year old and Finn was just being an ass." Clarke watches as Lexa takes in the ultrasound she handed her. "I lost the baby."

Lexa doesn't say anything as she pulls Clarke into her arms. Clarke doesn't know how long they sit in silence before she pulls away. 

"I'm sorry I've been a bitch and I've let my past with him effect us." Clarke grabs Lexa's hands. "I really want there to be an us."

"I'm not going anywhere, Clarke."

"Kind of feels like you are. We haven't talked in days."

"Okay...I admit that the first couple of days I was pissed. I can admit to being petty and not really wanting to talk to you." Lexa's says while tightening her hold on Clarke's hand. "You know you're the first chick I've ever tried to have something real with. That I've ever wanted anything with besides just some quick, inconvenient company." Lexa rolls her eyes when Clarke's face light up. 

Clarke is surprised Lexa is opening up so much. They've skimmed over Lexa's past relationships before. If you can even call them relationships. From what Clarke understands, Lexa hasn't had a girlfriend since high school. The 25 year old brunette put her career and goals before relationships. Lexa was all about hooking up when the urge for adult company got to her but nothing more. That information is what made Clarke continue to be with Lexa even though she wasn't sure what was going to happen between them. 

"So yea...the fight did get to me. I also should have handled it better."

"We should have been talked about what we wanted from each other. We both have made mistakes." Clarke adds. 

"I know." Lexa sighs. "But for real I'm not trying to push you away or anything. I'm over the fight and whatnot. I've just been tired. Trying to get promoted has been taking a lot out of me."

Clarke searches Lexa's face. She's risking a lot by making herself vulnerable right now.

"You'll get it, baby." Clarke's kiss Lexa's cheek. "Hey?"

"Hmmm?"

"I want to be official. Just you, me and,"

"And Zane." Lexa smiles as she completes Clarke's sentence. 

"Are we official or not?" Clarke smirks. 

"That was so romantic?" Lexa drips with sarcasm. 

"Shut up."

Clarke calls Octavia and ask for her to keep Zane for the night.


End file.
